PRIDE 2020

SAMIR 

Name? What are your preferred pronouns? How do you identify? 

Samir, He/Him, Gay Cis-Male 

What is your favorite way of expressing yourself? What is something you have done that you are proud of? 

Music and theater and the performing arts. A proud moment for sure was speaking out against injustice on Russian TV when I was interviewed in the crowd at the Eurovision Song Contest a few years ago.. even if the interview was not actually broadcast – at least the interviewer and camera crew heard what I had to say! 

In what ways have you seen the LGBTQ+ community grow and change progressively? How do you see unity in this change? 

For those of us who live in cities and countries where we have obtained our hard fought rights and things may have got a little better I’ve seen the fight evolve to fight for others in our community or in different parts of the country or across the world who still do not have rights. Unity comes from fighting together for all in our LGBTQ+ community. 

How do you love with no boundaries? How are you shown love in return? 

Through confidence to be our true authentic self in all areas of our life – at home, at work, with family, in public spaces, wherever and whenever. 

Who are some LGBTQ+ role models in your life/community/society? How have they fought for the right cause? 

May be a little obscure because I’m British – Will Young. The British Kelly Clarkson! The first reality TV pop star, who has gone from one of the first openly out pop stars to a true activist who uses his profile and voice to draw attention and to speak out on LGBTQ+ issues across the world. His Homosapiens Podcast is deservedly very successful and a strong personal recommend! 

RICHARD 

Name? What are your preferred pronouns? How do you identify? 

Richard DeGuzman. He/Him. Black/Latino Gay Man. 

What is your favorite way of expressing yourself?  

Good conversation, listing, learning and singing. 

What is something you have done that you are proud of?  

Not allowing my heart to hate based on others hatred towards me. 

In what ways have you seen the LGBTQ+ community grow and change progressively? How do you see unity in this change? 

Many changes across political and racial landscapes. The ability to be our true authentic selves. I think we have more work to do within the LGBTQ+ community. 

How do you love with no boundaries? 

Not allowing hate to prevail How are you shown love in return? Not being judgmental. Allowing my heart to be open to receive love. 

Who are some LGBTQ+ role models in your life/community/society? How have they fought for the right cause? 

There are so, so many. Sean Dolinar (Life Partner), James Baldwin, Martin Luther King, Ida B. Wells, Harry Belafonte, Langston Hughes, Rev. Pat Bumgardner (Metropolitan Community church of NY), Diana Ross, Mr. Hobbs (4th grade Techer), Miss Evelyn Valentine (11th/12th grade tailoring Techer and principal), Jack Fuller (The 1st black professional fashion designer I met in NYC and many more. 

Some fought by teaching, some lead by example, some wrote their stories, some pushed me, and some held my hand. 

KIRK 

Name? What are your preferred pronouns? How do you identify?  

Kirk Pestlin. Him / His. Gay – married! Senior Director Men’s Merchandising, Banana Republic  

What is your favorite way of expressing yourself? What is something you have done that you are proud of? 

Mostly through humor! Specifically, painful & mind-numbing puns. I also find an outlet in drawing (comic books!), collecting an obscene amount of house plants, and of course fashion. 

I helped launch our Banana Republic pride product assortment and UNF donation 4 years ago with a small team. Together we have continued to evolve & push this expression forward each year – the group is savvy, diverse, and whip smart. It has been such a pleasure creating this corner of the brand together with this team. 

In what ways have you seen the LGBTQ+ community grow and change progressively? How do you see unity in this change?  

The LGBTQ+ community in my eyes seems to have joined together more than ever. The dialogue has shifted towards a joy and reverence for all humans. In all forms. We celebrate diversity always, but have found strength in the power of our group. It is that strength (not our specific and special divisions) that lend us such a powerful and creative podium. 

How do you love with no boundaries? How are you shown love in return? 

I constantly try to live my life just a touch louder than what would be expected. I try to bring my whole self to my family, my work & definitely my friends. Sharing articles and news from the LGBTQ community, absolutely. Wearing prideful colors and clothes all year around, definitely. Posting a video of myself & my friends lip-syncing to Fifth Harmony with wigs from a trunk of costumes? Yes, even that.  

Living like this has brought an authenticity to the person I am in all settings. There is nothing to hide, no awkward topics, and it makes me feel lighter and whole. In return, I have found a community here in San Francisco that similarly takes life by the horns, and leads it in the direction we’d like it to go 😊 

Who are some LGBTQ+ role models in your life/community/society? How have they fought for the right cause? 

At the risk of sounding too pop-centric, I have to say that Ru Paul has been a strengthening voice for the community. His message of self-love, respect for all humans, support of LGBTQ business, the importance of voting, all pickled with a snappy sense of humor completely speaks to me. The way that his voice has reached such a broad (and necessary) stage through a wide array of media highlights the power of his platform. 

MARK 

Name? What are your preferred pronouns? How do you identify? 

Mark Daniel Snyder. I am genderqueer and I use the pronouns he or they.  

What is your favorite way of expressing yourself? What is something you have done that you are proud of?   

Being openly gender nonbinary in our society is a courageous political act in itself. Before joining the Gap Inc. family, I worked for over a decade at LGBTQ nonprofit organizations and have been very involved in organizing for change. I also love using my beauty blog @weirdforbeauty as a creative outlet to spread love and acceptance!  

In what ways have you seen the LGBTQ+ community grow and change progressively? How do you see unity in this change?  

 The community is waking up to the importance of centering the voices and needs of queer people of color, especially trans and nonbinary folks, and this is a very good thing! 

How do you love with no boundaries? How are you shown love in return? 
I use my meditation practice to cultivate compassion in my heart for myself and others. I’m very grateful for my close network of friends who are always there for me, having their support – from zoom calls to care packages - while living alone during the pandemic has been vital. 

Who are some LGBTQ+ role models in your life/community/society? How have they fought for the right cause? 

I love all the young boundary breakers from musicians to beauty bloggers like Janelle Monae and Kim Petras to Nikki Tutorials. Historically, I’m a big fan of Audre Lorde. And, I have to give a shout out to Grace Sterling Stowell, the trans executive director of the Boston Alliance of LGBTQ Youth (BAGLY) - that organization had a formative impact on my life.

DEEPA 

Name? What are your preferred pronouns? How do you identify? 

My chosen name is Deepa. Pronouns – She/Her. Transgender, pansexual and polyamorous 😊  

What is your favorite way of expressing yourself? What is something you have done that you are proud of? 

I think I am most proud of coming out to my folks a couple years ago. Took a LOT of guts, I’ll admit. And I am thankful to the people who help me get there. 

I am beginning to express more in my sense of fashion. It’s a process, I expect. I only came out 18 months ago and progress has been slow. 

In what ways have you seen the LGBTQ+ community grow and change progressively? How do you see unity in this change? 

I’d like to talk a bit about my home country, India, here. As recently as 6 years ago, I walked in Pride in my hometown, but I had to cover my face with a mask as it was illegal there and you could get into a lot of trouble. Today, things have improved dramatically, and I am learning that people no longer have to cover their faces 😊 It’s been a long struggle and we’re way behind nations like the USA but significantly more improved than where we were only a short decade ago. 

How do you love with no boundaries? How are you shown love in return? 

I like to think I enjoy the company of a diverse social circle and it’s a great learning experience.  

Who are some LGBTQ+ role models in your life/community/society? How have they fought for the right cause? 

Sundar and Velu – Friends (a couple) of mine from my hometown. They were one of the first gay couples to get married in California. They have also done some amazing pro-LGBT work in my hometown. They’re kind of legendary there for helping people come out to their parents, providing emotional support for kids, etc. They did it long before it was legal in India, I can’t even imagine the courage it takes. Top class people. 

Megan 

Name? What are your preferred pronouns? How do you identify? 

Megan Dalessio. She/Her/Hers. Heteroflexible/Questioning/Queer. Senior Manager, Equality & Belonging – Gap Inc. 

What is your favorite way of expressing yourself? What is something you have done that you are proud of? 

My favorite way of expressing myself is through food! I love to garden, cook, and throw elaborate dinner parties for my loved ones. Nothing builds community faster than a home cooked meal. 

In what ways have you seen the LGBTQ+ community grow and change progressively? How do you see unity in this change? 

A shift I find really encouraging is the way the popular conversation around LGBTQ+ issues has extended beyond sexual orientation and marriage equality to include the voices of trans and gender non-conforming folks as well as the nuance of experience for queer people of color. None of us are free until we’re all free. Unifying around all the humans behind the letters in our LGBTQ+ alphabet, particularly those who face exclusion on multiple levels, is essential for our collective liberation. 

How do you love with no boundaries? How are you shown love in return? 

One convention of love that I try to challenge regularly is the prioritization of partnered and romantic love over every other kind of relationship. Human connection, like gender and sexuality, is not binary and my relationships with my friends are no less important because they’re platonic. 

Who are some LGBTQ+ role models in your life/community/society? How have they fought for the right cause? 

I’m lucky that my LGBTQ+ role model is also my best friend. They have helped me see the world, especially as it pertains to gender expression and love, in a much more colorful, creative, and compassionate way. As a Black Latinx non-binary person who went to college in the South and now works in the Bay Area high-tech space, they are an inspiring example of standing in your truth even -- and especially -- when it isn’t easy. Sometimes showing up in our full truth is the most important and revolutionary thing we can do to bring a new, more open world into existence. 

JOHN KIM 

Name? What are your preferred pronouns? How do you identify? 

 John Kim, He/Him, Male 

What is your favorite way of expressing yourself? What is something you have done that you are proud of? 

As a designer at BR with a fine arts background, I am naturally passionate about the arts, from visual to performance. I also express myself through various channels, from my dedication to fitness to my strongly held belief in God. As a former overweight teen, I’ve used fitness as way to understand and accept my body, and at the same time challenging what it means to be ‘accepted’ in the gay community especially as a minority. I’ve also been open and honest in my religious community, despite the unfortunate backlash that entailed years ago as a result of me coming out. And in my own artwork, I tackle the idea of Western beauty, accenting the male portrait as a means to question what we perceive as ideal. I’m proud of all these instances, especially as a vehicle to challenge stereotypes and express myself honestly. I strive for a day where everyone feels safe and secure to honor their true selves, because being authentic means accepting and loving who you are. It took me a while to get there, but that’s where your real journey begins. 

In what ways have you seen the LGBTQ+ community grow and change progressively? How do you see unity in this change?  

There’s a growing fearlessness and empowerment I see running through the veins of the LGBTQ community. There’s also a normalized narrative that’s been happening for quite some time, with same sex couples raising families, thriving in communities once thought of as close-minded or homogenized. It’s refreshing and encouraging to see how “normal” it’s becoming, and I’m hopeful for our next generation to continue this trajectory. 

How do you love with no boundaries? How are you shown love in return? 

I think in this day and age with rampant politicized media narratives overtaking our daily lives, it’s important to remember first and foremost that we are all humans on this earth, and we are all connected. We usually have more in common than not. This connection means having compassion for those less fortunate, those marginalized, those who don’t have a voice. It also means we need to be open to hearing all sides of the story. Being well-informed and educated can bring empathy and in turn love, despite differences in viewpoints and beliefs.  

Growing up Christian and in a strong nuclear family has challenged me to always start with love. In turn, my family has always rooted everything in a spirit of compassion—whether outright or in the background, and this has challenged me to always think this way when dealing with people.  

Who are some LGBTQ+ role models in your life/community/society? How have they fought for the right cause? 

I love to be educated on the early pioneers of the LGBTQ community since I did not grow up during that period. I’m saddened by the recent passing of Larry Kramer, but find comfort in knowing his work and legacy lives on to this day. His unapologetic approach to dealing with the AIDS crisis is a constant reminder to me that sometimes you have to shake things up to make a difference, to not accept the status quo.  

I also look to those in the media such as Margaret Cho and BD Wong. Representation matters, and growing up watching faces similar to mine being shown to the masses gave me affirmation that I belonged, that my voice mattered too.  

Lastly, and most recently, I am heartbroken by the recent injustices occurring in the Trans community, especially towards trans people of color. I feel our society still has yet to fully accept this segment of our community, and I applaud them for their bravery in living their lives while being unapologetic, authentic, and fearless. 

DELONTÉ 

Name? What are your preferred pronouns? How do you identify? 

Delonté Hailstock.  He/Him.  Gay. 

What is your favorite way of expressing yourself? What is something you have done that you are proud of? 

This might sound cliché, but I mainly express myself through my clothing.  My soul needs COLOR!  Sometimes you just need to break out the loudest, brightest, most obnoxious color, or the wildest print to lift your mood.  But I’m actually really shy and I’m an introvert so it’s hilarious that I wear all of this stuff and try not to draw attention to myself LOL 

*See answer to question #5  

In what ways have you seen the LGBTQ+ community grow and change progressively? How do you see unity in this change? 

As much as we say we fight for equality, there’s still a lot of division and inequality within our own community.  I can’t ignore that.  It’s gonna take all of us working together, protecting each other, fighting for each other, lifting each other up. That’s how we make real and radical change for our future generations.  That’s a world I hope I live to catch a glimpse of. 

How do you love with no boundaries? How are you shown love in return? 

When I was a younger, I yahoo-searched (OMG) “unconditional love” to make sure I truly understood the concept.  I was surprised how simple it was!  It was how I was raised: You love ALL.  Even the ones you don’t like.  Everyone deserves your love.  That’s how I want to be loved—equally, authentically, and without expectations.   

Who are some LGBTQ+ role models in your life/community/society? How have they fought for the right cause? 

It’s funny…I remember growing up having allies, but not really having anyone who mirrored me as a queer person.  I never wanted anyone else to have that same experience.  Now it’s important for me to try to be a role model for younger (and older too, for that matter) LGBTQ+ people in my family and community.  And that’s something I can do by just being me!  Because me being an educated, successful, happy, Black, gay man is a direct protest to anyone who believes people like me don’t matter.  And every day of my life is a chance to show some little black gay boy out there that he can grow up to have a pretty fucking cool life.  I’m really proud of that.   

MUNDO  

Name? What are your preferred pronouns? How do you identify? 

Mundo Arisaga, He, Male  

What is your favorite way of expressing yourself? What is something you have done that you are proud of? 

 My favorite way of expressing myself is making people laugh. I really do start out every day with the intention of trying to make as many people smile as I can throughout the day.  

I am proud of creating a circle of friends over the past 10 years that is an inclusive and diverse group that has become my second family. I am thankful that they create a space to have meaningful conversations and that we all come together to support each other in their passions. Although we all come from such different backgrounds, we challenge each other to see life from different perspectives and encourage one another be our authentic selves. I am so proud of and thankful for my chosen family every day.  

In what ways have you seen the LGBTQ+ community grow and change progressively? How do you see unity in this change?  

I do believe the LGBTQ+ community is continuing change progressively. I think the most recent shift has been seeing the Pride movement stand in solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement. Marsh P Johnson, who was an American gay liberation activist, once said “No Pride for some of us without liberation for all of us”. We need to continue to organize as a community to fight for the rights of other marginalized communities. It has been great to see the LGBTQ+ community take Pride month as a time to reeducate ourselves on how the pride movement started to better understand the parallels that exist with the Black Lives Matter Movement. We must continue to support each other so can continue to make progress towards equality together! 

How do you love with no boundaries? How are you shown love in return? 

When I first began to accept myself as gay I often thought it would mean sacrificing other things I wanted in life. How would this impact my relationships with my friends and family? How would this impact my chances at succeeding my career? Everyday I worked a little more at being my authentic self and at times this took a lot of courage. What I ended up finding out is that by being my true self, I ended up creating relationships with people who loved me for me. By not hiding or holding anything back, I found spaces where I was fully accepted. I realized my family would love my unconditionally. I also realize that not everyone is as fortunate when they choose to live their truth but what I learned is what when you live your truth you put yourself out there to attract people that will love you for who you are. You open yourself to opportunities where you will be able to thrive without having to hold any part of yourself back. There beautiful and accepting environments in this world and when you shine your light and let others know you want to be a part of that, often you find people who open arms!  

Who are some LGBTQ+ role models in your life/community/society? How have they fought for the right cause? 

One of the biggest role models in my life is my father. He has been an ally to the LBGT+ community even before I came out to him. I often remember him watching episodes of Will and Grace and laughing along with all of the crazy antics and storylines.  It gave me a lot of hope that when one day when I decided to share my true self with him, he would continue to be the amazing father he always was. He continues to amaze me in his growth and understanding. Last year we walked in the Pride Parade with Gap Inc and was a truly special moment. His eyes lit up as we walked down Market Street and thousands of people were there waving and cheering with support. In the middle of the parade he turned to me and said how proud of me he was. It was a very special moment.